16 Years Ago, Amy Winehouse Took the World Back to Black

“We only said goodbye with words,” Amy Winehouse croons over a thundering beat on the title track of her legendary Back to Black, which turns 16 years old today. I am wholeheartedly aware that this album and its artist has been written about and dissected thousands of times. So instead I want to tell you a story about how Amy came into my life.

From Love Amy's YT Channel

My childhood was soundtracked by the likes of Fleetwood Mac, Billy Joel, and James Taylor– classic artists my parents adored that I learned to adore, too. Music, and the way it is passed down with such care, is truly a love language for many families, my own included. My mother is all about lyrics. For my father, it’s sound. For me, it’s something in between. My love for music knows no bounds.

Video Clip from The Recording Academy

I remember when Amy Winehouse died– which is surprising, since I was barely six at the time. But I remember seeing her face on the news: the beehive hair, the black eyeliner, the red lip. That’s it. That face, her look as definitive as her sound, stayed with me the way the melodies of “Rehab” stayed in my mind all throughout my single-digits years. Despite having no idea what the words meant, or even that the woman from the TV was the voice behind it, “Rehab” soundtracked a piece of my life, perhaps because you can hear Amy pouring hers into it. The vocals snappy, but disconnected. The hook humorous, but bitingly sad. Amy was hurting more than anyone knew, but if you want to know about that, watch a YouTube video. Amy was hurting, but she took that pain and gave it to us. She took her pain and put it to song.

Another early Winehouse memory– my cousin, 18 years older than me, opening up a present on Christmas eve and screaming with joy upon seeing the Back to Black record in her lap. Who would’ve known that a lifetime later on my 17th birthday, the exact same scene would come to life in my backyard, as I tore wrapping paper off the gift of my best friend to see Amy, looking back at me. But the truth is, she has been looking down on me all these years.

From Amy Winehouse's YT Channel

But before the album became such a favorite of mine that even my friends knew about my love for Amy, more and more songs from Back to Black began trickling into my life. The iconic, soul-baring title track became one of my most played songs before I ever even heard the album in full. I remember blasting it in a friend’s car and demanding silence at my favorite part of the song– when the bridge collapses into one rousing, final chorus. When Amy sings “We only said goodbye with words”, I think of all the people I have known who have gone too soon, who have let go without a trace, who have left my life guns blazing. I think about seeing my friends the last time before they left for college– my voice saying goodbye, saying I love you and see you soon, but my arms craving one last hug, like I might never see them again. That feeling, that quick, devastating feeling, is the crux of what Back to Black is all about– wanting love and living without it.

A few years ago that feeling was all I knew. I was in a dark place. A dark place that I would never have been able to pull myself out of without the voice of Amy Winehouse, echoing like an angel throughout my life and the lives of a million others. You do not simply listen to Amy Winehouse sing, you listen to her pour her heart out. And before the song is even over, you find yourself doing the same. Thank you Amy, thank you Back to Black.

If you have been kind enough to read this far, I want to leave you with one last lyric from the album. Remember above all, that “in this blue shade, tears dry on their own”. Your sadness is temporary, but Amy will be there to soundtrack it always.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

*This article has been enhanced and edited since its original posting on October 26, 2022.